December 20, 1951

[coolerthansora]

[ Private ]
So I guess it's normal to kiss your friends where Orihime comes from... It still seems pretty weird to me. That's twice now. But, I guess it's nice. I just don't think I could do it. I mean, it's showing something that I'm not sure I actually... feel.

That's the problem with this whole holiday. I think I care about people. I want to care. But hell if I know whether I actually do, and if all it is is a thought, then I'm just lying to everyone if I do anything to prove it. Maybe the reason I'm bad at showing this stuff is because there's nothing to show. Orihime doesn't believe it, and Gert thinks it's stupid, but... it's not like they know any better than I do.

Then again- maybe it's not worth thinking about. I can't change, and I can't figure it out, so I might as well just.. go with it, right? If Orihime knows it might not be real, and she's okay with it, then there's no reason we can't say we're friends. If nothing else, she cares about me, and... Even when it's one-sided, I think it still means something.

Right. So. Just forget all that stuff. I've never celebrated Christmas before, it should be fun once I figure out this whole shopping thing.

...I wish Olette were here. She'd be able to help me figure out what to get people.

Comments

[dreamerspark.livejournal.com]

Why not? I don't think he'd mind much...

[coolerthansora]

Sora, since when've I been good this year?

[dreamerspark.livejournal.com]

Since... Since, um... Well, you- ...There was- ... um...

Maybe I could call it a favor for helping him out before...

[coolerthansora]

Don't worry about it. If I get coal, I won't mind.

[dreamerspark.livejournal.com]

I don't think you'll get coal, Roxas! Maybe you haven't been the best this year, but you haven't really been bad.

[coolerthansora]

...do you need me to spell it out for you since you don't remember?

[dreamerspark.livejournal.com]

But- that was... Things were different then, right? It shouldn't...

...I guess even if Santa does get you coal, you'll still get real presents from the rest of us.

[coolerthansora]

I'm not gonna pretend I've got excuses for being an idiot.

Y-yeah. That's plenty.

[dreamerspark.livejournal.com]

O-Okay.

But- you really can't think of anything else you'd want for Christmas?

[coolerthansora]

Yeah, but- I can't exactly portal over, kidnap Riku and Kairi, and stuff them in a box for you. You can't get me what I want either.

[dreamerspark.livejournal.com]

... Yeah, I- guess that's true. But we can manage with small things for now, right?

[coolerthansora]

...sorry. I didn't mean to make you-

Yeah. Small things we can do.

[dreamerspark.livejournal.com]

Huh? No, it- it's okay...

Yeah.

[coolerthansora]

So anyway. Surprise me, all right?

[dreamerspark.livejournal.com]

Oh, a-alright. Same goes for me, okay?

[coolerthansora]

Sure. I'll see what I can manage.